of me.
With Thanksgiving over, I intended to jump right back in, but my last doctor's appointment found me with a prescription in hand for a Generalized Anxiety Disorder medication. It wasn't what i thought I wanted or what I thought I needed, but this doctor of mine - he knows his stuff.
I started last Saturday, and frankly I've been kind of blown away by the subtle, yet huge tectonic shift that has happened in my brain and my body.
I didn't want to jinx it by writing about it too soon, but things keep moving in a positive direction so I think I'll uncross my fingers long enough to type.
I've written before about how my normal state of being is a constant thrum of vibration. When that vibration went away, so did my low blood sugar episodes and my need to pass out comatose every afternoon.
I had no idea how much energy it took to be nervous all the time. And here's the other thing, I had no idea how anxious I really was.
Life just doesn't seem so hard right now.
Weird.
Even the holidays, which usually have me dancing on the edge of a cliff, seem manageable.
I'm a happier mom, and a nicer wife.
(I never, never, never thought I could handle being medicated. Never. I just thought I had to work harder at being a better person.)
I'm a little sad that I didn't do this years ago, when my son was smaller, but I'm hopeful that he doesn't remember any of that anyway.
I never thought I would ever be able to have peace within myself. I sure as hell never thought that peace could come from a pill.
Thanks Dr. F.
