school clothes

I've reached the end of my rope.

We've known about Daniel's clothing sensitivities since way before they told about that "thing" called Sensory Integration Disorder.

I learned quickly which clothes soothed him and which one agitated him when he was a baby. He has never been able to wear shirts with appliqués on them. And we make it a habit to take out all tags and turn his socks inside out.

I'm used to it.

And yet.... When this Summer arrived and he refused to wear any shorts but the 2 that he has worn for the last 2 years.... I admit it threw me for a loop.

I thought it was a passing phase. After all, I had just bought him a bunch of shorts, that he had tried on and approved as acceptable. Each and every one had an adjustable waist, to accommodate his thin frame and non-existent back-end.  All washed and put away, only to be pushed aside again and again in favor of the ugly, dirty pair that lay on the floor.

I confronted him. To say that we had an altercation over shorts, is to put it mildly. We have been fighting over shorts, and now clothes in general in knockdown drag-out fights all Summer long.

I gave in. His summer uniform became white t-shirts and those 2 pairs of shorts. I did laundry more often, and I looked the other way when he wore dirty clothes.

We are both bone-tired of fighting about clothes.

For some reason, I thought that he could control how he felt about the clothes. I approached the situation as if it was just a matter of personal taste on his part. Which of course I realize now, on this tenth week of summer vacation, that it is not. He can no more change his sensitivities than I can become an alligator wrestler.

But I am all about the consequences these days, so I told him that because he had approved clothing that I had ordered, just to get me "to leave him alone", then he would have to go to the stores with me and GO SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES.

And he did. We went to store after store. We focused only on the jeans and I brought him heaping armfuls to try on. Which he did.

In every store I told him of our pact, "If you say yes to a pair of pants and I buy it, then you are obligated to wear it without complaint". In some cases, he rethought his decisions and we walked out with nothing.

I'd like to make myself look good here, but I have to tell you that as I watched him discard pair after pair of jeans and I thought ahead to just how few stores there are that have pants that fit a child with no waist... I lost it. There were tears in the dressing room.

Sometimes it's hard to figure out what is a sensory issue and what is a punk-head brat issue. They so often look the same.

And lo! There is an end to this post!

We now have enough jeans to last us a week of school. He promises me that he'll wear them. And I bought a new pack of those Hanes white t-shirts.

But I bought the next size up so that they would fit him....

and he tells me he can't wear them.

They feel funny.

Comments

[Maddy]

Why does your typekey never remember me?

Anyway, Clothes = a battle I will not fight, my children look like ragamuffins. I do have the advantage over you though as the clothes have been worn by at least two people before he gets his turn.

Additionally I have a couple of pals with bigger kids and they give me [horray!] their kids 'rags' when they grown out of them.

If you're willing to go for the 'scruff' look, trying washing all the clothes with a few rocks first and then dry them with those spikey tumbler drier balls.

Cheers

[Christina Shaver]

I'm with ya! Yesterday it was like pulling teeth to go shoe shopping with Evan. He wore the shoes out of the store, not because he wanted to, but because it was easier to do that than put his others back on. And though he picked them out himself and said how much he liked them, they were off the moment we got in the car. "Too tight." They're not.

[Scattered Mom]

*sigh* Go run yourself a hot bubble bath and get a glass of wine. :P

At least he doesn't have uniforms, right? (LOLOL)

[Liesel Elliott]

Maddy, hand-me-downs are definitely an advantage. In fact, I used to buy a lot of his clothes at the local consignment shop, but they don't have much beyond size 6, so now I'm sunk.
Christina, shoes are another issue! This year we are just going to get him the next size up in the sneakers he wore last spring...I'm hoping we can avoid issue that way. Unfortunately, those sneakers are Ed Hardy slip-on sneakers, in other words, really expensive, no arch sneakers...but I don't really care, as long as he wears them without complaining.
Scattered Mom, I think I'd have to home-school him, if the schools required uniforms! I mean, what are the odds that he would be able to tolerate the clothes that some random school bureaucrat picked out?

[Ella]

Speaking as someone who absolutely *must* wear her socks inside out lest I completely freak out, Thank You. Thank you for trying, even though it certainly *is* trying. Thank you for doing your best to understand something that seems so absurdly arbitrary.

I admire that you trudge from store after store to find the "right" clothes and, especially, that you explain the rules. I don't have any illusions that any of this is easy (for either one of you), but at least you're giving Daniel the gift of his mother trying to understand.

Having an especially challenging child of my own, I know those tears of frustration. I often wonder how I can manage to find my way through the minefield of having a special child.

One last thing: I admire that you don't feel the need to make yourself look good. Knowing I'm not the only struggling mom gives me comfort beyond words.

Ella

[flower girl dress]

well i must say really a nice blog , and as far as kids clothes are concern i don't like uniforms at all .

[Flower Girl Dresses]

nice post ! i feel children should wear bright dresses it implicates beauty with innocence .

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