An open letter to my husband on Father's Day

I went to the card store last week to buy a Father's Day card. I bought a card for my grandfather, and two for my father. I bought birthday cards for several relatives, but I couldn't find a single card that I liked for you. Not from me, not from Daniel. Maybe the perfect card was in the Spanish section, but I took Latin, so I don't know. Veni vidi vacuus manus manus. (I came, I saw, I left empty-handed)

I wanted something funny, but not slapstick. Something that says – “I'm so glad you married me, because when I think back on all those other losers I dated, it makes me cringe.” Not too romantic, but heartfelt nonetheless. Maybe something with a  de Kooning on the front.

Happy Father's Day to My Husband – I'm so glad I never married that moody guy from college. Damn, I love you!

 

Something that showed just how happy a nut-job can be when paired with a truly kind and brilliant person. Maybe something that joked about what the offspring of said nut-job and benevolent genius would be like.

 

Happy Father's Day to my Husband – Thank god our kid has only half of my genes. Otherwise he'd be a complete basket-case. Thanks for the DNA! Damn, I love you!

 

I wanted to tell you that at the end of the day, after Daniel is in bed, I still love to talk to you. That I'm grateful for all the discussions of art and music and technology and innovation that we've had, each one going on and on like a school girl's sleepover.

I don't think there is another human being who “handles” me as well as you do, and slowly, through all of your steadfast ignoring of my bad behavior, I have become calmer and kinder.

 

Happy Father's Day – You are the light of my life. I don't know what I would do without you. I still remember how sweet you were before we were married and you sent me chocolate every week. Those were wonderful, heady days. Especially the chocolate part. Why no more chocolate? I still love you...send chocolate!

.

It hasn't been easy, being Daniel's father and my husband all at once. Either one of us alone would make the average guy run screaming from the room, or punch holes in the wall. You, bless your heart, have done neither. Many times you have been the only calm one in the room and you have managed to talk both of us down from our existential cliffs.

We both love to go to museums with you. We both love to talk about inventions with you. We both love to be with you. You are the ballast that keeps us steady. And within that steadiness wonderful things are able to develop.

I know you don't care about cards. I know you don't care if the presents are wrapped. And I know that the fact that you don't care about those things has nothing to do with you not caring.

So, I hope you don't mind, if there is no card this year, only my rambling on and on, on a public blog. And I hope you don't mind that the presents aren't wrapped, and we didn't make anything fancy for dinner. I opted instead for a non-scream-y holiday in which we ignore the traditions set forth by Hallmark and simply hang out and have a nice time together.

Happy Father's Day.

 

 

Comments

[howard]

How wonderfully sweet and wonderful. So you wanna take this online, huh? Game on! Too bad it's almost a year until Mother's Day.

p.s. you said "enough with the chocolate, you're making my ass big."

[Scatteredmom]

Oh, so that's why you send ME chocolate. To make MY ass big, huh?

Lololol. Very sweet. :) We spent Father's Day pretty much the same way. No wrapped gifts and mushy cards, just hanging out together.

[jcmerritt]

That's the sweetest thing I've read in a long time! It's great. We didn't do gifts here either, just the little things the kids made in school...movie, and grilling.

[Pretty Jane]

OK, so this actually made me cry. Not like, tear up and feel sappy, but actual dripping-down-your-face-into-your-lap-while-your-husband-is-out-at-guys-night-watching-amateur-soccer cry CRY. Awesome. Maybe you'd let me just cut-and-paste it to his birthday card, or something?? Copyright, anyone?? Thanks for reminding us all that our husbands are NOT the pathetic losers we see on TV, and that moms lose it sometimes, too.

P.S. Your ass is not fat, honest.

[Liesel Elliott]

Pretty Jane,
Gosh, with that sort of emotion, how can I say no?